Or Why was Cinderella right?
By Gwen Helbush, cwc, President, Where To Start, Wedding Management
Why are you a wedding planner?
Weddings are old fashioned and out of date.
People don’t need to get married. It has to be hard to keep a wedding business going?
So why do you keep doing it?
I hear these questions and comments a lot. My brain says these are reasonably ideas; but my heart says you are all crazy! In case you haven’t figured it out, I listen to my heart. My heart tells me love and marriage is eternal. As long as human beings walk the earth (and maybe someday other planets), marriage will be around.
If marriage were going the way of the dinosaurs, then why are people fighting so hard for the right to marry? I know in my heart that one day very soon same-sex marriage will be legal in all 50 states. And when that happens, we will stop using the term ‘same-sex weddings’ and just call it what it is: a wedding. Marriage matters, and that is why I keep doing my job.
My job is to create wonderful weddings. If that was all there was to it, I would have found an easier and far less demanding way to make my living. But for me that is not all there is to it. I believe the right wedding is the first step to a happy marriage; and happy marriages are good for society. A marriage whose first step is a wedding created especially for and by the couple produces a relationship that is stronger than one that does not take the time and effort to include a wedding.
The engagement and the wedding planning process are a microcosm of married life. During the engagement and wedding planning process, the couple learns more about each other, learns to negotiate and compromise. They learn the dynamics and politics of each other families. They learn to be a team. They must deal with money, tastes, decision-making styles and how to fight fair. All things they will have to tackle as a married couple.
As a wedding planner, my most sacred responsibility is to guide engaged couples through that journey. I do my best to give them the tools they need to make informed decisions; I act as a sounding board and a mediator; I give them a safe place to work out decisions and compromises about the wedding. It’s not my job to give personal advice. My job is to bare witness to the transition from single to married; and to do all I can to make that transition smooth and happy.
The greatest gifts I can give the world are weddings that result in happy marriages. It is an act of bravery to get married, it takes courage to commit to another human being for the rest of your life, to pledge to care for them and allow them to care for you. I consider it a duty and an honor to be allowed to make my living doing something I love and believe strongly in.
So, what was Cinderella right about?
She said “Be brave and kind.” Two things you need a lot of to plan a wedding and to be married.
Best wishes for a wonderful wedding planning experience and a long happy marriage, Gwen